RSVP stands for 'Répondez s'il vous plaît' — French for 'please respond.' It asks the guest to confirm whether they will attend. In UK wedding etiquette, not responding to an RSVP is considered rude, though in practice 20-30% of guests need chasing.

When should the RSVP deadline be?

Set the deadline 4-6 weeks before the wedding. This gives you time to chase non-responders, finalise numbers with the venue and caterer, and complete the seating plan. Your caterer will need final numbers 1-2 weeks before, so build in a buffer.

Should I include a pre-stamped return envelope?

If using physical RSVP cards, including a pre-stamped, pre-addressed return envelope dramatically increases response rates. Without one, guests need to find an envelope, write your address, buy a stamp, and post it — each step is a reason to procrastinate.

How do I chase guests who haven't RSVP'd?

Send a gentle reminder 1-2 weeks after the deadline. Text or WhatsApp is more effective than email. Be direct: 'Hi [name], just checking if you're able to make it to the wedding on [date]? We need to finalise numbers with the venue. No worries either way!' If they still don't respond, ask a mutual friend to nudge them.

RSVP Wording: How to Word Wedding RSVPs

The RSVP is the most practical part of your invitation — it determines your guest count, catering order, seating plan, and table layout. Getting clear, timely responses is essential. Getting them from every guest is a fantasy.

This guide covers RSVP wording for cards, websites, and emails, plus how to handle the 20-30% of guests who will inevitably forget.

RSVP card templates

Formal

Formal wedding RSVP card with response options, pen, and matching invitation on cream linen

RSVP

Kindly respond by the first of July 2026

Name(s): ________________________________

☐ Accepts with pleasure ☐ Declines with regret

Number of guests attending: ____

Dietary requirements: _____________________

With meal choice

Wedding RSVP card with meal choices filled in with neat handwriting, stamped return envelope

RSVP

Please reply by 1st July 2026

Name(s): ________________________________

☐ We will attend ☐ We are unable to attend

Meal choice (one per guest): ☐ Beef fillet with red wine jus ☐ Pan-seared salmon with dill ☐ Wild mushroom risotto (V/VG)

Dietary requirements or allergies: ________________________________________

Casual / modern

Can you make it?

Let us know by 1st July

Name(s): ____________________ ☐ Wouldn’t miss it! ☐ So sorry, can’t make it

What would you like to eat? ☐ Beef ☐ Fish ☐ Veggie

Anything we should know? (allergies, dietary needs) ____________________

Funny

RSVP

☐ Wouldn’t miss it for the world ☐ Will be there in spirit (and expects cake delivered)

Name(s): ________________ Feed me: ☐ Beef ☐ Fish ☐ Plant-based Allergies / special needs: ________________

Online RSVP wording

Online RSVPs (via your wedding website) are increasingly popular. They’re faster, easier to track, and eliminate lost cards.

Hand holding a smartphone showing an online wedding RSVP form, coffee and invitation on the table

On the invitation, direct guests to the website:

Please RSVP by 1st July 2026 Visit emmatomwedding.co.uk/rsvp

On the website RSVP page:

RSVP

Please let us know if you can join us by 1st July 2026.

[Name field] [Attending: Yes / No dropdown] [Number of guests] [Meal choice: Beef / Fish / Vegetarian] [Dietary requirements / allergies: text field] [Song request for the DJ: text field] (optional fun addition) [Submit button]

Email RSVP wording

If you’re keeping things informal:

On the invitation:

RSVP by 1st July to emma.tom2026@gmail.com

Template reply for guests:

Subject: RSVP — [Your Name] We’d love to come! / Sorry, we can’t make it. Meal choice: [beef/fish/veggie] Dietary needs: [any allergies]

What to include on the RSVP

Essential:

Guest name(s)
Attending yes/no
RSVP deadline
Return method (pre-stamped envelope, email, or website)

Recommended:

Meal choice (if pre-ordering)
Dietary requirements / allergies
Number of guests attending (important if they have a plus one)

Optional:

Song request for the DJ
“Any message for the couple”
Transport requirements (bus pickup)
Accommodation (reserved a room? yes/no)

Tracking RSVPs

Laptop showing a wedding RSVP tracking spreadsheet with guest names, responses, and meal choices

Create a spreadsheet with these columns:

Guest Name	Invited (Day/Evening)	RSVP Received	Attending	Meal Choice	Dietary Needs	Notes
Sarah & Mark Jones	Day	Yes	Yes (2)	1x Beef, 1x Fish	Mark: nut allergy
Hannah Brown	Day	Yes	No	—	—	Sent apology card
Uncle Robert	Day	No	—	—	—	Chase by text

Update the spreadsheet the same day you receive each RSVP. Leaving them in a pile and entering them all later leads to lost cards and data errors.

How to chase non-responders

Expect 20-30% of guests to miss the deadline. This is normal. Don’t take it personally.

1 week after deadline: Send a gentle text or WhatsApp to each non-responder.

“Hi [name]! Just a gentle nudge — could you let us know if you’ll be able to make it to the wedding on [date]? We need to confirm numbers with the venue. No worries either way! Emma & Tom x”

2 weeks after deadline: Call or ask a mutual friend to check.

3 weeks after deadline: If you still haven’t heard, assume they’re not coming and finalise your numbers. If they later confirm, you can usually add 1-2 to your venue numbers with short notice.

Common problems

“Can I bring my kids?” If children aren’t invited, the invitation will be addressed to the adults only (no “and family”). If a guest asks, be honest: “We’ve had to keep it to adults only due to space — we hope you understand.”

“Can I bring a different plus one?” If the invitation says “and Guest,” they can bring whoever they like. If it names a specific partner, it’s polite to check with you first.

“I’m not sure yet.” Ask for a firm answer by the deadline. If they can’t commit, suggest they decline and you’ll invite them to the evening if space opens up.

Guests who RSVP yes and then don’t come. This is the most frustrating scenario — you’ve paid for their meal. Unfortunately, there’s no polite solution. Budget for a 5% no-show rate on the day.