Wedding Gift Etiquette: How Much to Spend
Key Takeaways
- There's no fixed rule — spend what you can comfortably afford, not what you think is expected
- Most UK wedding guests spend £30-100 on a gift depending on their relationship to the couple
- Cash and honeymoon fund contributions are now the most popular gift in the UK — it's not rude
- If the couple has a registry, use it — they've chosen those items because they want them
- A group gift from multiple friends or colleagues is a smart way to give something more significant
How much do you actually spend on a wedding gift? It’s the question nobody wants to ask out loud. Spend too little and you feel awkward. Spend too much and you resent it for months.
The honest answer: there is no right amount. But there are guidelines, and this guide lays them out clearly.
How much to spend by relationship
| Relationship | Suggested Range | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Close friend | £50-150 | Your closest friends. The ones whose weddings you’d never miss. |
| Good friend | £40-80 | Friends you see regularly but aren’t in the inner circle. |
| Family (sibling, parent) | £100-300 | Often more generous, sometimes a significant contribution. |
| Family (cousin, uncle, aunt) | £50-100 | Standard family gift. |
| Colleague (close) | £30-60 | Someone you work with daily and genuinely like. |
| Colleague (distant) | £20-40 | The office whip-round covers this perfectly. |
| Acquaintance | £20-40 | Someone you know socially but aren’t close to. |
| Evening-only guest | £20-50 | The expectation is lower for evening guests. |
| Couple attending together | £50-150 (total) | One gift from both — not two separate gifts. |
The real rule: Spend what you can comfortably afford. Nobody should go into debt for a wedding gift. A £20 gift with a heartfelt card is worth more than a £100 gift with a blank card.
Cash, registry, or choose your own?
Cash / money (most popular)
Cash is now the most popular wedding gift in the UK. Most couples live together before marriage and already own a toaster, a dinner set, and bedding. What they don’t have is a honeymoon budget or a house deposit fund.
How to give cash:
- In a card at the wedding (most common)
- Bank transfer with a reference (e.g., “Emma & Tom wedding gift”)
- Contribution to their honeymoon fund via their wedding website
How much cash? The same guidelines as above. £50-100 from close friends. £30-50 from colleagues.
Gift registry
If the couple has a registry (John Lewis, Amazon, The White Company, etc.), use it. They’ve chosen those items because they want them. Don’t go off-registry because you think you know better — you probably don’t.
Registry tips:
- Buy from the registry early. Popular items sell out.
- If nothing on the registry suits your budget, combine with another guest for a bigger item.
- Check whether the couple gets a discount on remaining registry items after the wedding — some stores offer 10-20% off.
Choosing your own gift
If there’s no registry and they haven’t asked for money, choose something thoughtful. The best gifts are:
- Useful: Something they’ll use regularly (quality kitchen item, luxury bedding)
- Personal: Something connected to your relationship with them (a book you discussed, something from a shared holiday)
- Experiences: Restaurant voucher, cooking class, weekend away voucher
- Lasting: Something they’ll keep for years (quality homeware, art, personalised items)
Avoid: Novelty items, anything with their names and date on it (they won’t use it), anything that’s really a gift for you (“I got you a wine-tasting course because I know how much I’d enjoy that”).
Group gifts
If your budget is limited but you want to give something generous, combine with friends or colleagues.
How it works: One person buys the gift. Everyone else contributes via bank transfer. The card lists all contributors. Total budget: £20-50 per person.
Good group gifts: High-end kitchen appliance (KitchenAid, Nespresso machine), luxury experience (Michelin restaurant voucher, spa weekend), statement homeware (art print, designer lamp), a meaningful hamper.
When to give
Before the wedding: Send the gift to the couple’s home 1-2 weeks before. This is traditional and practical — they don’t need to transport gifts from the venue.
At the wedding: Bring it to the gift table at the reception. Cash in cards goes in the card post box.
After the wedding: Within 3 months is acceptable if you’re ordering something specific or contributing to a fund.
Situations people worry about
“I can’t afford a gift.” Your presence is the gift. Attending a wedding costs money (outfit, travel, accommodation, drinks). No reasonable couple expects a gift on top. A heartfelt card is enough.
“I’m invited to the evening only.” A smaller gift (£20-40) or a card with cash is appropriate. The expectation for evening guests is lower.
“I’m attending two weddings in one month.” It’s fine to give less to each. The couples don’t know what you’ve given the other.
“They said no gifts.” They mean it — mostly. A card is always appropriate. A very small, thoughtful gift (a bottle of wine, a book) won’t be resented. A large gift contradicts their wishes and may make them uncomfortable.
“I’m not attending but want to send a gift.” Lovely gesture. Send it to their home with a card explaining you’re sorry you can’t be there.
Further reading
- What to Write in a Wedding Card — messages for every situation
- Wedding Thank You Card Wording — what the couple writes back
- Plus One Etiquette — guest rules and gift guidelines
Frequently Asked Questions
How much should you spend on a wedding gift UK?
Close friends: £50-150. Family: £50-200. Colleagues: £25-50. Acquaintances: £20-40. Couples attending together typically give one gift from both of them (not two separate gifts). These are guidelines, not rules — spend what feels comfortable for your budget.
Is it OK to give cash as a wedding gift?
Yes. Cash and honeymoon fund contributions are the most popular wedding gift in the UK. Most couples would rather receive money toward their honeymoon or home than a third toaster. If you're uncomfortable giving cash in a card, contribute to their honeymoon fund or buy a gift voucher.
Do you bring the gift to the wedding?
Either is fine. Traditionally, gifts were sent to the couple's home before the wedding. Increasingly, guests bring gifts on the day. If giving cash in a card, bring it to the wedding. If giving a large or wrapped gift, sending it to their home beforehand is more practical — the couple doesn't want to transport 80 gifts home from the venue.
What if I can't afford a wedding gift?
Your presence is the gift. If you're attending the wedding, you've already spent money on travel, accommodation, and an outfit. No couple worth knowing would judge you for a modest gift — or no gift at all. If you want to give something, a heartfelt card with a personal message costs nothing and means more than most gifts.